Cricket Crazy
by Theonetheycalljen
Summary: For all you cricket people out there...
1. chapter5

A/N:~ I do not own Legolas  
  
Nat teaches the elves cricket  
  
CHAPTER1  
  
"Everybody!" Nat called, "I'm going to teach you how to play cricket!" Jennie, Heawood and Steph groaned, but the elves gave excited squeaks and chattered excitedly. "Why are they all so excited?" Steph hissed, looking round alarmed at all of the happy elves. "Nat told them that it was really fun," Heawood whispered back, "I think they think that something magical will happen if they hit the ball a few feet in the air,"  
  
"This is going to be fun," Jennie chuckled.  
  
"Now, now!" cried Nat, banging her limited edition Michael Vaughan bat on the ground. The elves stopped chattering at once and gazed at her, waiting for something to happen. Nat cleared her throat, "ahem" she began. "Now, this limited edition Michael Vaughan bat which I am holding is very special. It is called a bat. Erm. you use it to hit the ball in the air. Yes?" she said as an elf in the front row raised his hand.  
  
"Lady Natalie, do we all get a special limited edition Michael Vaughan bat, just like yours?"  
  
"No", Nat said importantly, "only I get one of these bats. Anyway, this thing is called a ball" she said picking up the round object on the floor. The elves were looking confused.  
  
"Nat," Jennie whispered loudly, "that's an apple, the ball is here," Nat looked at the green apple in her left hand and smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Oh yeah, erm.sorry everyone. Jen, do you have the ball then?" Jennie threw her the ball. Nat reached out with her left hand and moved expertly towards it, but the ball sailed past her hand and hit her on the forehead. "Ouch!" she cursed loudly; she hesitated as she saw her expectant elf audience. Jennie, Heawood and Steph laughed quietly. "That was supposed to happen!" Nat assured everyone, "I was only demonstrating how not to catch the ball, yeah that was it. What you just saw was how not to catch the ball." She cleared her throat again and laughed nervously. She picked up the cricket ball and held it away from her. "Right now, I mean, this is a cricket ball". The elves gasped at the red ball in her hand. Nat beamed to them all and puffed her chest out importantly. "Ahem. Allow me to demonstrate. You throw the ball like this," she threw it into the air, "and you catch it like this" Nat reached out towards the cricket ball, and as it smacked into her hands, she let out a muffled 'ouch' but faced the awaiting elves with a satisfied smile on her face. "You see that? That was how to catch the ball, like that, what I just did, see? That is how you catch it, like what I just did. Wasn't it cool? You see, you do it like that. You hold out your hands and bring it towards you as you catch it, then it is easier like that and you can catch it better. But I'm not expecting you to catch it straight away. oh no! It took me a very long time before I could catch like I can now. And can't I catch well? I mean-" Nat broke off as Heawood gave a little warning cough. "Oh, well, anyway. That was how to catch the ball, like what I just did. Understood?"  
  
The elves nodded, but a few looked a little scared about getting bruises on their foreheads if they didn't catch the ball. "Erm.what next? Oh yes, how to hit the ball. Jen, could you bowl the ball for me?" Jennie stood up and prepared to bowl the ball to Nat. "Well, you hold the bat like this." Nat banged the bat on the floor, making the elves jump. "You hold it like this." The elves paid rapt attention as they watched her. "Then you look forward as the bowler bowls." The elves' eyes were fixed on the bat as Jennie did an underarm throw to Nat.  
  
"And then you HIT IT!" she cried, swinging the bat wildly in the air. The ball slammed onto the cricket bat, sailed over their heads and hit Lord Elrond on the head as he was coming out of his house to join in. But, no- one had noticed because this was all a few miles away, and no-one could see that far because there were many bushes in the way.  
  
"This is hell!" Steph complained loudly. The elves began to tell her off.  
  
"It's brilliant" they cried.  
  
Nat smiled, with a look of pure satisfaction on her face, "if you don't like it." she said in her biggest voice, "Then I suggest you leave."  
  
Everyone looked round at Steph. Steph frowned and said, "OK, then. See you all later if you aren't all dead." Then she got up and walked off. The elves were eager to continue, "Please carry on, Lady Natalie!" they demanded, "can you show us how to hit the ball again?"  
  
Nat smiled, and trying to be modest said, "OK then, it was rather a good hit wasn't it? Jen, can you bowl again?" 


	2. chapter2

CHAPTER2  
  
Jennie stood back up and prepared to bowl the ball to Nat. Nat got ready to hit it, and all the elves' eyes were fixed on the bat again. Jennie bowled underarm to her, and again Nat whacked it high into the air. She smirked and began to say modestly that it was just a fluke shot; little did she know that this second ball had knocked out Steph, who was on her way to get some lunch from Elrond's house. "Wow!" exclaimed the elves, obviously fascinated. Nat smiled, "Right. Do you all understand?"  
  
The elves nodded their heads but did not make a noise. "Good," Nat continued, "Now I'll show you how to bowl!"  
  
Heawood let out a groan and said, "this is really boring now, Nat. I'm going to see what Steph is up to" and then Heawood got up and left. Hurriedly, before anyone could object. But no-one objected, the elves really didn't mind that 'Lady Heawood' had just left their cricket lesson, in fact, they were rather pleased because they hoped now that there would be no more interruptions. Nat cleared her throat. "Now, how to bowl. Um." she paused for a moment, wondering how she could phrase it. "er.I know, Jen, stand up a minute."  
  
Jennie stood up and faced Nat. "Now everyone, pretend that Jen is the batsman" Jennie raised her eyebrows. Nat laughed and said, "Sorry, batswoman. Anyway, watch closely now as I bowl the ball in a fairly accurate line to Jennie, who will then attempt to hit it back to me."  
  
Nat raised her right arm with the ball, and concentrated hard. "Wait!" cried Jennie, "I don't have a bat!"  
  
But it was too late. Nat had already thrown the ball, and Jennie managed to duck just in time to stop it from hitting her on the head. The ball carried on and landed harmlessly in Elrond's prized rose bushes.  
  
The elves began to mutter but did not say anything, Jennie stood there looking as if she had just nearly experienced death, and Nat was smiling. "Whoops!" Nat exclaimed happily, "I forgot to give a bat to Jen!" Then she picked up a spare bat and threw it at Jennie. Jennie's eyes opened wide and she dived out of the way and landed on her side. She gave a condescending look to Nat and stood up again, gingerly rubbing her arm. But Nat shook her head and said, "Come on, Jen! You should be able to catch that! That was an easy throw!"  
  
"Nat! You just threw a cricket bat at me! What did you expect me to do? Run forward to catch it?" Jennie said angrily. Nat began to argue back.  
  
The elves were now looking very scared. "Can't we use swords to defend ourselves?" one of them asked as Nat and Jennie argued.  
  
"No," replied another one, "I heard that if you do the bat will bite you and it injects some sort of poison in to you"  
  
The others gasped. "Don't be silly!" said an old elf, "you shouldn't believe silly things like that!"  
  
"It is a very strange game. I do not really understand, but it looks fun to play," said another one.  
  
"Well," said a small elf, "let us try it, and if we don't like it, we don't have to continue playing,"  
  
Nat and Jennie had stopped arguing and were now being quite friendly again. "So," Nat said brightly, peering at all of the elves, "it's quite simple, watch again," Jennie hastily grabbed the bat and held it like a sword. Nat threw the ball and Jennie closed her eyes and hit it, and Nat caught it with some difficulty. "Did you see my lovely straight arm whilst I bowled it?" She asked them all, "See how I didn't take my eyes off of the bat that Jennie is holding, and see how straight it went?" The elves nodded mutely. "Good," replied Nat, "Now, who wants a game?" 


	3. chapter3

CHAPTER3  
  
Some of the elves that were still eager to play leapt to their feet, and the rest dragged them selves up and hung nervously back. Nat smiled again and said, "Right, now, er. how shall I decide the teams? I know, I'll split you in half,"  
  
Some of the elves now were terrified. "Split us in half! I don't want to be split in half!" one cried to his friend, clutching him self so that Nat wouldn't be able to cut him in half with her cricket bat.  
  
"No, you dumbo!" replied the elf in front of him, "She means that she is going to split us into two teams!"  
  
The elves, after hearing this, relaxed considerably. Nat put them into two teams and then stood back. "Now," she said, "Who wants to bat first?"  
  
The elves hung back until the small one bravely said, "I'll bat first!"  
  
"Right then" Nat said kindly, "Stand there erm. what was your name?"  
  
"Andurinal," he replied nervously.  
  
"OK then, Andi, erm. Andidurinally."  
  
"Andurinal," the elf replied clearly.  
  
"Right" said Nat, looking a bit abashed, "Will you please stand over there,"  
  
Nat indicated to a spot in the grounds and Andurinal cautiously went over there. "Stand in that box that I have marked out for you" Nat said cheerfully. Andurinal cast a sideways look at the box marked out on the floor and taking a deep breath, edged into it. He stood there with his eyes screwed tightly shut, as though he was expecting the ground to swallow him. But as nothing happened, he relaxed and smiled at his friends who were watching him with scared expressions on their faces. "Come on then, who's in Andurinal's team?" 


	4. chapter4

CHAPTER4  
  
Nat then went round and put them all around the pitch to where they were supposed to be standing. The elves looked petrified and stood perfectly still, not daring to move a muscle. "Right then, erm.who wants to bowl?"  
  
No-one put their hand up. "OK then, I'll bowl then shall I?"  
  
Nat took up her place in the bowler's square, and looked Andurinal in the eye. Andurinal gulped and began to shake. Nat drew back her arm and bowled it. Andurinal closed his eyes and swung the bat in front of him. He hit the ball and it sailed past and landed at an elf's feet. Nobody moved. "Run!" Nat shouted to Andurinal. A look of panic and confusion swept over Andurinal and he ran and leapt into the nearest tree.  
  
"NO!" Nat bellowed, as she saw Andurinal peering out from the canopy of the tree, "bah! Never mind! Never mind!"  
  
Then Nat turned to the elf that had the ball at his feet. "Pick the ball up! Throw it to me! Quick, quick! Pick it up and throw it to me!"  
  
The elf bit his lip and cautiously picked up the ball as if he expected it to bite him. He held it away from him, eyeing it suspiciously.  
  
"Throw it!" Nat insisted. The elf looked at the ball one last time and threw it wildly in the air. The ball flew back down and the elf ran out of the way shrieking,  
  
"The thing that you call a ball! It's attacking me! ARGH!" then he leapt up the tree which Andurinal was cowering up.  
  
Nat rolled her eyes and faced the elves that were fielding, "Look," she said, "when the ball comes your way, you catch it, or pick it up, and then you throw it to me! And you are allowed to move to catch it!"  
  
She then looked up at Andurinal and the other elf in the tree. "Are you two coming down?" When they shook their heads, Nat sighed and yelled, "We need another batter!"  
  
This time Legolas stepped forward. He picked up the bat and turned to face Nat. Nat took aim and bowled, and Legolas swung the bat so that the ball sailed in a perfect arc, landing somewhere near the last fielder. "Now RUN" Nat shouted. Legolas ran forward, and past where he was supposed to run. "STOP!" cried Nat, "you only run to there and back again!"  
  
Legolas did a kind of pirouette in the air, as he turned around and sprinted back the other way. Meanwhile the fielding elves had picked the ball up, ran to Nat and put it into her hand. Jennie laughed as Nat rolled her eyes. As she turned round to bowl to Legolas again, she saw him still running. "STOP," she shouted, almost bored, "you have to stop running and get ready to hit it when I have the ball in my hand."  
  
Legolas stopped running and went back the batting area. Nat bowled again, and Legolas hit it again. A young elf had his hands out and the ball fell neatly into them. "OUT!" Nat yelled.  
  
"What?" asked Legolas, clearly confused.  
  
"That elf, er. Doeiviel? Caught the ball and so you are out,"  
  
Legolas shrugged and went off the pitch and sat under the tree where the other two elves were hiding. This time a rather grumpy old female elf picked up the bat and took her place. She successfully hit it, which resulted in three more elves up the tree. "Come on everyone, we can get her out!" 


	5. chapter5

CHAPTER5  
  
This time, the grumpy elf hit it, and Nat caught it. The grumpy old female elf sulked off, casting a dark look at Nat as she went.  
  
"Stupid game," she muttered under her breath.  
  
Now a very young elf took up the batting position. He set his mouth in a determined line as Nat bowled the ball to him. He missed it and hit the wicket. "OUT!" Nat cried, "The ball hit the wicket"  
  
The elf went off in a daze, and went to join Legolas under the tree. Next another young elf came into the batting position. Nat bowled again and it hit the elf's leg.  
  
"LBW!" she informed them all.  
  
"A what?" said the elf.  
  
"Leg Before Wicket" Nat said slowly and clearly, as if the elf was foreign.  
  
Eventually they finished the game. "That went well didn't it Jen?" Nat said happily as she picked up the ball. Jennie smiled, but did not say anything. She noticed that most of the elves ended up hidden in the tree, and the rest of them were nursing their arms, legs or head.  
  
"How about another game tomorrow?" Nat asked them all loudly. No-one replied. "Hey? Guys?"  
  
They all walked off and left her there. "I'll take that as a yes!" she called after them. Then she smiled. She was sure that the elves had enjoyed it. 


End file.
